“I forgive you.” Does anybody else have an illogical hatred of hearing those words? Yes, it usually means you have done something stupid or insensitive and had to ask for forgiveness, and that’s never fun. So you’d think that hearing someone say, “I forgive you” would be a relief! YAY! They forgive me! They (Supposedly) aren’t mad at me anymore. We can be friends now. All hard feelings are left behind.
Yeah… you’d think. But whenever someone tells me, “I forgive you” it really rubs me the wrong way. The VERY wrong way. Like, wrong way on the freeway wrong way… (that’s a lot of “ways in once sentence… Sorry.)
It shouldn’t be that way.
Think about it, “I forgive you” should bring relief and joy. It should be the start of reconciliation! But it’s not. When I apologize for the horrible remark about your (Crazy) Aunt Frieda, I want to hear, “Oh it’s fine.” When I say I’m sorry for hating your (irresponsible and ugly) boyfriend, I want to hear, “Hey, everyone has faults. No biggie.” Don’t tell me you forgive me.
When someone says, “I forgive you” it sounds so very… pretentious. The only person who should go around telling people they are forgiven should be wearing priestly robes and (hopefully) taken a vow of celibacy.
I know, I know it’s probably just my pride that keeps me from accepting the words, “I forgive you” as a good thing. I just feel so very trampled on whenever I hear those words aimed in my general direction. And you have to understand, I make a lot of mistakes. A lot. Hourly. So I have to deal with these uppity sounding phrase more often than I like.
I can’t see a solution in sight though… I can’t say, “I’m so sorry I stepped all over your (Large) feet.” And then have, “I forgive you.” Thrown in my face only to have me say, “That’s great, but do you mind rephrasing that to a ‘that’s fine’ for me?” It just doesn’t work that way. I’ve tried.
In other news, my 5K is TWO WEEKS AWAY! I am so excited for it. Of course, I keep injuring my ankle or knee… and that is something of a setback. But y’all know that having some part of me wrapped in an ACE bandage is just part of my life. And if you didn’t know that… Don’t worry, I forgive you.
Oh Jeannie you are just amazing! I love ya! You have such amazing insights and think about things I've never thought about before! It's too bad that people don't respond in the way that we like! Those expectations that we have towards how people will react in certain situations is frustrating if they aren't meant! So much stress is caused by unmet expectations! Maybe next time someone says, "I forgive you." you can replace those words in your head with "It's fine." Or whatever phrase you want :) Good luck with dealing with the craziness that sometimes life can bring!
ReplyDeleteSteph, you are a much better person than I am! I just get annoyed... never thought about trying to replace their statement with a different one in my head. I'll give that a try.
ReplyDeleteI'm totally with you on this one. I really just wanna say, "Look, I'm not asking for your forgiveness. It's not your decision or your right to forgive me or not. I only care to have that from ONE being, and it's not you. So, are we good? Good. That's all I wanted to know, you condescending, self-righteous jerk. Do you forgive me now?" <--Wow. Rant. Bottom line: I couldn't agree with you more.
ReplyDeleteI tend to agree with you on this one. In fact, I make it a point to NOT say that to people. Cuz it's never true. If they did something that bad where they come to you and say they're sorry...there is NO way that you will have forgiven then in the .05 seconds between when they're done talking and when you start. And even the "it's fine" kills me too. Have you ever seen the Italian Job? Come on. And the other thing that bugs me...When you say hi to someone and the "hi, how are you" that immediately follows. And then you're supposed to say, "good, how are you." Nobody.Cares.Ever. You wouldn't imagine the amount of weird looks and how taken aback people get when I say something different.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, Oh Ashely (Both of you) you guys are awesome.
ReplyDeleteNow if only I could spell ASHLEY right....
ReplyDelete