Honesty and Hippos

I expect honesty in everyone. Especially from myself. Especially from myself about myself. On that note, my 5K is fast approaching, and the reality of it is I’m not exactly ready.

“Why not?” You ask. Good question. I’ve been asking myself that question all week. And last week. True, I’ve been a little under the weather this week. And my life is pretty busy. I work all day and then usually have something going on every night. I have a hard time squeezing in time to sweep my floor, let alone go running.

But, then I really take a good look at things and I realize that I have all the time I need to do all the important things. It’s all about prioritizing.

But that doesn’t change the fact that my 5K is on Monday, it’s Wednesday and I have never gone farther than 2.52 miles. Only 0.6 more to go, right?

I’ve been terrified that I am going to make a fool out of myself, I won’t be able to run the whole thing or I’ll break my ankle or something. And you know what, that is no way to think! As FlyLady would say, “No more stinkin’ thinkin’!”

I have realized that I am a perfectionist. And, I really enjoy a few minutes to relax. And sometimes I just feel overwhelmed. Well my friends, it is time this changed. I have a good, simple system for keeping my house clean. I have all the time in the world to do the things I love. Now I just need to DO IT!

I think this is going to mean getting up early in the morning to go running. *sigh* I can’t see any other way for it. And you know what that means? Going to bed early (why is this so difficult?!). And you know what that means? Some serious, hard core discipline!

But I can do it. I’m starting to see the benefits (YAY for benefits!!!) Such as my legs are toning up, I’m losing some of the unwanted belly fat, I’ve been cutting time off my miles, etc. Awesome right?! So now I just need to do more of it.

And, now that I think I know what I need to do to make it happen, I just need to act on it. Unfortunately, it is much easier to make a plan than to actually follow the plan. Which is why my new mantra is JUST DO IT!

What do I have to lose? (More belly fat for one thing…) I can do it because my husband says I’m awesome. I can do it because I know I can. And I can do it because my husband bought me this incredible swim suit for our trip to Florida and I just HAVE to do it justice.

And, as long as we’re being honest, I will never understand the whole gladiator high heels look. I mean, seriously, who thought that was going to be a good idea?! And, while owning an Elephant and a Giraffe would be awesome. A pet Hippo would just be ridiculous. There. I said it. 

P.S. - I kind of really want to make my blog look cool and have those neat little buttons on the top for different pages like "About Me" and stuff like that.... But I don't know how. Anyone have any suggestions?

I Forgive You

“I forgive you.” Does anybody else have an illogical hatred of hearing those words? Yes, it usually means you have done something stupid or insensitive and had to ask for forgiveness, and that’s never fun.  So you’d think that hearing someone say, “I forgive you” would be a relief! YAY! They forgive me! They (Supposedly) aren’t mad at me anymore. We can be friends now. All hard feelings are left behind.

Yeah… you’d think. But whenever someone tells me, “I forgive you” it really rubs me the wrong way. The VERY wrong way. Like, wrong way on the freeway wrong way… (that’s a lot of “ways in once sentence… Sorry.) 

It shouldn’t be that way.

Think about it, “I forgive you” should bring relief and joy. It should be the start of reconciliation! But it’s not. When I apologize for the horrible remark about your (Crazy) Aunt Frieda, I want to hear, “Oh it’s fine.” When I say I’m sorry for hating your (irresponsible and ugly) boyfriend, I want to hear, “Hey, everyone has faults. No biggie.” Don’t tell me you forgive me. 

When someone says, “I forgive you” it sounds so very… pretentious. The only person who should go around telling people they are forgiven should be wearing priestly robes and (hopefully) taken a vow of celibacy. 

I know, I know it’s probably just my pride that keeps me from accepting the words, “I forgive you” as a good thing. I just feel so very trampled on whenever I hear those words aimed in my general direction. And you have to understand, I make a lot of mistakes. A lot. Hourly. So I have to deal with these uppity sounding phrase more often than I like. 

I can’t see a solution in sight though… I can’t say, “I’m so sorry I stepped all over your (Large) feet.” And then have, “I forgive you.” Thrown in my face only to have me say, “That’s great, but do you mind rephrasing that to a ‘that’s fine’ for me?” It just doesn’t work that way. I’ve tried. 

In other news, my 5K is TWO WEEKS AWAY! I am so excited for it. Of course, I keep injuring my ankle or knee… and that is something of a setback. But y’all know that having some part of me wrapped in an ACE bandage is just part of my life. And if you didn’t know that… Don’t worry, I forgive you.

Stupid, Little, Blue, Blinking Dot!

The worst side of a person comes out when they’re lost. And the devil himself seems to appear when you are lost and late. Trust me, I know. I’m not lost often, but when I am… It’s not pretty.

But, let’s back up a bit. Have you ever been the passenger when the driver gets lost? When that happens, this is something of the dialogue that goes through my mind.

                “What’s his problem? It’s not like it is that hard to find the place. Why is he getting so upset? It gets so much harder to find the place if you are frustrated. Calm down man! We’ll find the place, it’s not Atlantis or anything! Uh oh… I think he is about to have an aneurism…”

And then, you make the monumental mistake of saying something to the driver in an effort to calm them down. And now, you are the headless passenger, cringing in fear and hoping that this place just pops up out of nowhere because you only have so many limbs you can spare.

As a general rule, I am an excellent person to take along on a road trip. For many reasons, but mainly because I don’t really use my own floor space because I always have my feet tucked up underneath me. And, because I can keep up a cheerful attitude through traffic, being lost (as long as I am not driving) and coming up with interesting snack combos to eat during the drive. (One downfall to having me along on a road trip is I drink an inordinate amount of water and require rather frequent bathroom breaks…)

But! When I am driving, and I am late and I am lost… I don’t even know myself.

Example: This past weekend I was the Maid of Honor at my best friend’s wedding. They were having a wedding dinner about 40 minutes away from where I work. I had never heard of the place, and so I was trusting in Google Maps (not always accurate, but better than nothing). I have this handy little app on my phone that gives me step by step directions, or I can see a map with myself being this little, blue, blinking dot moving along the road. The route is in red, so if I get off course I can definitely tell.

I wasn’t too worried about the first part. I jumped on the freeway and knew which exit to get off of. But, I was late. So I wasn’t in the best frame of mind. I got off the freeway, managed to stay left at the fork, and while the light was red I read the next step in my directions: “Drive 2.2 miles and turn left on 1700 W”. Only… I read it as, “Drive 0.2 Miles and Turn Left”. So I did. And I got hopelessly lost.

I drove around, looking for some kind of sign or directions or something and ended up at a random Wal Mart. I looked at my map to see how far off track I was. My little, blue, blinking dot was quite off track. So I started driving in the direction that I thought would bring me closer to the red route, only to see my little blue dot getting farther away from my personal yellow brick road.

I turned at the next street thinking it would  get me back on track, only to turn even farther off route. At this point I was very frazzled and saying some interesting things. No swear words, quite yet. More like, “Where in the name of St. Agnes am I?!” or “No! bad little blue dot! Go the other way!” But, to no avail.

I decided to pull off the road to have my route redone and give me very specific instructions. I decided to turn right at the next road. At the stop sign,  I had the directions recalculating. It told me to make a U-Turn. At this point, I had turned right, so I got into the left lane only to discover that there was no U-Turning. Nope! It was straight onto the freeway for me!

I had now turned to grumbling and moaning and beating the steering wheel in impatience. I was not very happy. I tried to hold it together, got off at the next exit, got back on the freeway and back on track. The stupid little, blue, blinking dot kept on telling me how very off track I was. I wanted to smash that stupid dot.

I made it back on track, the little blue dot happily following the red line, and read the directions carefully at every red light. I was panicked beyond belief that I was going to be terribly late and either walk in on a speech, not get any dinner or have many looks of scorn given by the dinner-goers. Luckily, the Bride and Groom were nearly 45 minutes late (which is actually quite typical of the two of them…)

I vowed within myself to read directions more carefully and to leave earlier. It just isn’t any fun to feel lost, to hate blue dots and want to yell at all the other cars that life just isn’t fair! And the worse part of the whole thing? I don’t have working AC. I had done my hair, and with all the extra time in the car it had gotten more windblown and sweaty than I had ever planned on and was practically past saving. So, I gave my toast with crazy-lady hair, half melted-off make-up and a smile. At least I made the Bride look extra good, right?

My (Non)Shocking Lack Of Perfection

I am not perfect. Shocking, I know. But it’s the truth. I haven’t actually written anything on this blog in how long?! I know, I know… here I am, supposed to be getting rid of excuses and I can’t even keep up with my own blog. Pitiful.

BUT! I do have some good news! I am doing the Freedom Run 5K on the Fourth of July! And guess what? I am addicted to running. Seriously, it’s the best thing ever! There is no better way to boost my confidence and my self-esteem then by increasing distance or cutting my time. Of course… I am still working on the consistency thing. Why is that so darn hard?

I mean, have you ever thought about that? I LOVE to run. It makes me happy, I feel great and it makes me look good. So why is it so hard to get myself out the door to do it? I don’t even have the “it’s too cold!” excuse anymore! I am averaging running about 2-3 times a week. On a good week. I’d like to up that to at least 4 times a week. I can do it!!! Right?

In other news… My sweet hubby and I are planning an awesome vacation in August. Talk about excitement! When he asked me what I wanted to do, my immediate answer was, “BEACH!” And so, he undertook the extremely important responsibility of planning our vacation. And, he made sure there would be an incredible beach included on this grand adventure.

So what does this mean? This means, I need that beach body that closely resembles a Victoria’s Secret model. Is this achievable? Probably not. Am I going to kill myself trying? Absolutely!

And I PROMISE to post more often.

So, question, what motivates all y’all to get your franny out the door to exercise? Especially those of you with the incredible discipline  of getting up early specifically to work out?