My husband is home for the Holidays!!!!!
I could not be more excited.
Just a story worth sharing: I was waiting for Stephen at the airport. And I thought I would pass out before he actually got here. I was just bouncing around, trying really hard to hold still. The airport was crowded with a bunch of people with signs for missionaries coming home. They all smiled at me indulgently, probably thinking I was waiting for a missionary.
I saw Stephen coming around the corner from his reflection in the glass and I promised myself that I would hold still.
I lied to myself.
As soon as he got out from that long hallway I found myself running towards him and throwing myself in his arms. The whole airport burst into cheers. It sounded like we had just won a big football game or something. Everyone was yelling, clapping and cheering like crazy. And it went on for a while. We made it to the back of the crowd and just held each other for a minute and then made our way to the escalator.
As we went up, people below saw us and again started cheering.
It was awesome.
And I think that for the first time ever, the outside world sounded exactly like how I was feeling.
A collection of my thoughts and experiences as I weed out all the excuses I use to inhibit myself, my goals and enjoying all that life has to offer.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Dear Santa
Dear Santa/Stephen,
I know it is fairly impossible, but Christmas is all about endless possibilities! So, For Christmas I want one of the following:
I have been a very, very, very good girl. Really, I promise. I have brushed my teeth at least twice a day, cleaned my room, did the dishes, told the truth and been the best wife ever.
I know there is lots of room for improvement, but think of all the happiness and joy and lessons a puppy will bring! I promise I would feed it and walk it and love it every day.
Have a very, merry Christmas!
Love,
Jeannie
P.S. - Thanks for an amazing Christmas last year! The running shoes were perfect I have used them at least once a week :) And only think, if you get me a puppy I will use them even more cause puppies need lots of exercise!
I know it is fairly impossible, but Christmas is all about endless possibilities! So, For Christmas I want one of the following:
I have been a very, very, very good girl. Really, I promise. I have brushed my teeth at least twice a day, cleaned my room, did the dishes, told the truth and been the best wife ever.
I know there is lots of room for improvement, but think of all the happiness and joy and lessons a puppy will bring! I promise I would feed it and walk it and love it every day.
Have a very, merry Christmas!
Love,
Jeannie
P.S. - Thanks for an amazing Christmas last year! The running shoes were perfect I have used them at least once a week :) And only think, if you get me a puppy I will use them even more cause puppies need lots of exercise!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Automatic Everything
Sometimes I worry about the world. Mainly I worry about kids not believing in fairies,
the accepted lie that is the American Buffalo (it is not a buffalo it is a BISON)
and 80's fashions coming back.But I have recently come across a truly troubling phenomenon: the automation of everything.
From escalators and moving floors (and they wonder why obesity is on the rise!), automatic hand dryers, toilets, lights, paper towel dispensers, drinking fountains, soap dispensers, doors, bill pay and car windows the world may one day forget how to turn on a sink or open a door. But the latest in a long string of offenders: automatic toilet paper dispensers.
That's right. UNbelievable! How do they (who ever they are, which is another question we shall not go into for fear of excessive rambling and soap box standing) know how much toilet paper I need/want? Did they do a study to see how many squares the average person used? (how would they even conduct that study?!)
Honestly, it made me feel lazy. Like someone had invaded my "restroom time". Ridiculous? Perhaps. But still, I have to constantly watch and fear for the unsuspecting automatic toilet flush.And now, the automatic toilet paper?
Now, I am trying to understand that it is probably all about reducing germs and yata yata yata.But I do find it insulting, irritating and downright strange!
They either:
A) Worryabout the over use of toilet paper and want to cut costs and reduce flood possibilities (Which are still very much in place because you can get the dispenser to give you toilet paper over and over and over again).
B) Are germaphobes and shudder at the thought of the different hands touching that last square of toilet paper that they themselves might use (in which case they should probably start disinfecting their credit cards. Do you have any idea how many hands probably touch those in a week?!)
or
C) Are trying to take over the world by making people stupid and dependent on automatic everything and will one day revert it ALL back to manual and then have the world screaming in the palms of their hands for HELP!
A little far fetched? I think not!
But seriously, how did they actually know how much toilet paper I needed? It was literally the perfect amount! I think that is the most disturbing part of all....
the accepted lie that is the American Buffalo (it is not a buffalo it is a BISON)
and 80's fashions coming back.But I have recently come across a truly troubling phenomenon: the automation of everything.
That's right. UNbelievable! How do they (who ever they are, which is another question we shall not go into for fear of excessive rambling and soap box standing) know how much toilet paper I need/want? Did they do a study to see how many squares the average person used? (how would they even conduct that study?!)
Honestly, it made me feel lazy. Like someone had invaded my "restroom time". Ridiculous? Perhaps. But still, I have to constantly watch and fear for the unsuspecting automatic toilet flush.And now, the automatic toilet paper?
Now, I am trying to understand that it is probably all about reducing germs and yata yata yata.But I do find it insulting, irritating and downright strange!
They either:
A) Worryabout the over use of toilet paper and want to cut costs and reduce flood possibilities (Which are still very much in place because you can get the dispenser to give you toilet paper over and over and over again).
B) Are germaphobes and shudder at the thought of the different hands touching that last square of toilet paper that they themselves might use (in which case they should probably start disinfecting their credit cards. Do you have any idea how many hands probably touch those in a week?!)
or
C) Are trying to take over the world by making people stupid and dependent on automatic everything and will one day revert it ALL back to manual and then have the world screaming in the palms of their hands for HELP!
A little far fetched? I think not!
But seriously, how did they actually know how much toilet paper I needed? It was literally the perfect amount! I think that is the most disturbing part of all....
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Fingernail Polish
I have an odd relationship with fingernail polish. I love it, and I hate it. I love it because the colors are so pretty! (I have an insane fingernail polish collection. I think I have almost every shade of green and blue possible.) But I hate it because it doesn't matter what kind I use, it always ends up chipping.
I hate it when my fingernail polish is chipped. It just looks so tacky.
So what's a girl to do? (Besides go and buy that awesome grey one I saw at Target the other day).
You know, if it didn't take me a lifetime to paint my fingernails, I would probably be a lot happier about this. But for some reason, it takes me at least half a movie to get old fingernail polish off, nails trimmed and new color applied. Why?! This is insanity!
Something else: feet are not cute. But, apply a nice color of fingernail (toenail? Does it matter?) polish and suddenly they are at least 50% cuter. Not on men though. It is never really right for a man to be wearing fingernail polish.
Any ways, that being said I haven't worn fingernail polish in almost two weeks. And it's honestly a little weird. Maybe I'll paint my fingernails tonight....
I hate it when my fingernail polish is chipped. It just looks so tacky.
So what's a girl to do? (Besides go and buy that awesome grey one I saw at Target the other day).
I would like to say that if I could do cute art on my fingernails, I totally would. This is, sadly, beyond me. |
Something else: feet are not cute. But, apply a nice color of fingernail (toenail? Does it matter?) polish and suddenly they are at least 50% cuter. Not on men though. It is never really right for a man to be wearing fingernail polish.
Any ways, that being said I haven't worn fingernail polish in almost two weeks. And it's honestly a little weird. Maybe I'll paint my fingernails tonight....
Friday, December 9, 2011
My Revolution
You know, there comes a time in ones life when it just seems like you must start a revolution! I've considered starting a revolution over my Senior Thesis... I thought about a revolution to end this ridiculous obsession with Twilight. I have pondered revolting against the mass love of Eggnog. But, it finally hit me today what revolution I want to start:
I more than kind of love this! I know how hard it is to love your body because, if you think about it, if you aren't depreciating your own value some people think you are vain/proud/cocky/etc. But you know what?! Let's start this revolution. Seriously, do you have any idea what could happen if the next generation of girls grew up hearing, "You are so beautiful!" and seeing real women with real bodies showing off the fashions of today?
Now, I know that there are a TON of organizations out there trying to change the image of what is "beautiful". Really! Want to see a list?
http://realbeautyis.com/
http://www.dove.us/Social-Mission/campaign-for-real-beauty.aspx (I really love this one!)
http://www.healthyweight.net/index.htm
http://www.girlsontherun.org/theprogram.html
http://childrensbodyimagefoundation.org/
http://wingsforkids.org/experience/hot-wings?gclid=CLym0JfY9awCFcoaQgodQ0IVRg
And that is just to name a few!
Can you remember the first time you felt that maybe you didn't look right? Maybe you should change something about yourself to fit in? Do you know when that consciousness started to develop? I can remember the first time I thought that there might be something "wrong" or "different" about myself. And you know what? It was when someone told me!
I lived blissfully unaware that I wasn't "beautiful" or "skinny" until someone actually pointed out that I needed to change to be happy. Guess what? Up until that point my clothes rarely matched, and I thought it was awesome. I didn't see a difference between myself or my friends. I thought we were all beautiful in our own way. Was I taller than one girl? Maybe. Didn't matter.
How could I have maintained that wonderful confidence? It would seem impossible in today's world. And, since that day I found out that I didn't look "good enough" I have been trying to change myself. I have been telling myself LIES!
"You're not good enough."
I more than kind of love this! I know how hard it is to love your body because, if you think about it, if you aren't depreciating your own value some people think you are vain/proud/cocky/etc. But you know what?! Let's start this revolution. Seriously, do you have any idea what could happen if the next generation of girls grew up hearing, "You are so beautiful!" and seeing real women with real bodies showing off the fashions of today?
Now, I know that there are a TON of organizations out there trying to change the image of what is "beautiful". Really! Want to see a list?
http://realbeautyis.com/
http://www.dove.us/Social-Mission/campaign-for-real-beauty.aspx (I really love this one!)
http://www.healthyweight.net/index.htm
http://www.girlsontherun.org/theprogram.html
http://childrensbodyimagefoundation.org/
http://wingsforkids.org/experience/hot-wings?gclid=CLym0JfY9awCFcoaQgodQ0IVRg
And that is just to name a few!
Can you remember the first time you felt that maybe you didn't look right? Maybe you should change something about yourself to fit in? Do you know when that consciousness started to develop? I can remember the first time I thought that there might be something "wrong" or "different" about myself. And you know what? It was when someone told me!
I lived blissfully unaware that I wasn't "beautiful" or "skinny" until someone actually pointed out that I needed to change to be happy. Guess what? Up until that point my clothes rarely matched, and I thought it was awesome. I didn't see a difference between myself or my friends. I thought we were all beautiful in our own way. Was I taller than one girl? Maybe. Didn't matter.
How could I have maintained that wonderful confidence? It would seem impossible in today's world. And, since that day I found out that I didn't look "good enough" I have been trying to change myself. I have been telling myself LIES!
"You're not good enough."
"You are not beautiful."
"No one could love you"
"What's the point in trying? You'll always be ugly and fat."
Like I said: LIES!
And you know what is sad? I would (and still do, to be perfectly honest with you) talk badly about myself around men to get them to compliment me ( I just do it around my husband now, poor guy). I needed to hear from others that they found me attractive because I couldn't see that in myself.
Something I have learned: Men Like Confident Women.
They do. They find it irresistible and sexy. A study showed that one of the reasons men like "bad girls" is because they are confident and in full control of their body (or at least appear to be).
Now, if you ask me... that seems like a pretty good thing. I want my husband to find me irresistible. I want to be that sexy, confident woman he can't wait to talk to. You know, when you tear yourself down and you are hard on yourself, your spouse/partner becomes more insecure themselves. True story. Because you are so critical of yourself they believe you will be critical of them. Negativity feeds off of negativity.
Want a strong, healthy, loving relationship? Build your own self-esteem AND your partners. When you are fully confident in yourself, you no longer need to constantly talk about yourself to feel good. You don't need to have others talk about your awesome qualities either. So, when you feel yourself to be truly beautiful you have more time to build others, enjoy life, listen to stories and love the skin you're in.
Is there anything wrong with improving what you already have? Not at all. But make sure to awknowledge how amazing you are to begin with. Go for a healthier you. Don't focus on what your body looks like, but what your body can do. Let others know how wonderful they are, and never let anyone hear you say something negative about yourself. Accept compliments gracefully.
That is what I am going to try to do.
This is MY revolution.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Joy, Love and Running
Joyous joy of jubilation!
I saw my husband! I had a wonderful, fantastic, beautiful couple of days in ugly Fort Leonard Wood. But I loved every second of it. I didn't mind the traveling or anything. I just loved seeing my husband.
I was so worried that he was going to change, and he did change. But only in good ways. I didn't think Stephen could become any better... but he did! And so, I had an amazing trip. (I won't bore you with my raptures of wedded bliss (: and you're very patient for my past happy posts).
So, this past weekend I had the opportunity to do the Santa Run in Provo! It was so much fun, but not very well planned. You see, I flew in the night before that. I was tired and grumpy without my husband. And, I had an elevation headache. I didn't sleep at all that night, worked that day from 9-2:00 (check in for the race was at 3:00). Add to that throwing up the morning of the race and eating only 1/4 of a Jamba Juice smoothie and you kind of have a recipe for disaster!
Oh, and I forgot my knee brace. Oops.
Thankfully, my awesome bestest bud/Aunt Tammy did the race with me!
We didn't exactly run the full 5K. We cut off about half a mile, but it was still a blast! (And our time was seriously damaged when 1/3 through the race I really, really had to pee so we stopped at a nice little restaurant and used the restroom. Oops).
Next time, we are going to run the whole thing! And it will be awesome.
I am still working hard on my weightloss/fitness goals. I love running and yoga, but I love yoga the best! My goal is to not gain any weight this holiday season. I managed to actually lose 1 lbs over Thanksgiving (quite a feat if you ask me!) so I know that I can succeed!
Well everyone, thanks for all of your love and support through it all. Now I just have to wait another two weeks and I get to see my husband again! Sadly, we still have another 4 1/2 months apart. But, we are blessed enough to be able to talk to each other every day. I think that is a miracle and a bigger blessing than most people will ever understand.
Stay awesome!
I saw my husband! I had a wonderful, fantastic, beautiful couple of days in ugly Fort Leonard Wood. But I loved every second of it. I didn't mind the traveling or anything. I just loved seeing my husband.
I was so worried that he was going to change, and he did change. But only in good ways. I didn't think Stephen could become any better... but he did! And so, I had an amazing trip. (I won't bore you with my raptures of wedded bliss (: and you're very patient for my past happy posts).
So, this past weekend I had the opportunity to do the Santa Run in Provo! It was so much fun, but not very well planned. You see, I flew in the night before that. I was tired and grumpy without my husband. And, I had an elevation headache. I didn't sleep at all that night, worked that day from 9-2:00 (check in for the race was at 3:00). Add to that throwing up the morning of the race and eating only 1/4 of a Jamba Juice smoothie and you kind of have a recipe for disaster!
Oh, and I forgot my knee brace. Oops.
Thankfully, my awesome bestest bud/Aunt Tammy did the race with me!
We didn't exactly run the full 5K. We cut off about half a mile, but it was still a blast! (And our time was seriously damaged when 1/3 through the race I really, really had to pee so we stopped at a nice little restaurant and used the restroom. Oops).
Next time, we are going to run the whole thing! And it will be awesome.
I am still working hard on my weightloss/fitness goals. I love running and yoga, but I love yoga the best! My goal is to not gain any weight this holiday season. I managed to actually lose 1 lbs over Thanksgiving (quite a feat if you ask me!) so I know that I can succeed!
Well everyone, thanks for all of your love and support through it all. Now I just have to wait another two weeks and I get to see my husband again! Sadly, we still have another 4 1/2 months apart. But, we are blessed enough to be able to talk to each other every day. I think that is a miracle and a bigger blessing than most people will ever understand.
Stay awesome!
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